I woke up today with a very very good mood (: don't know why, I didn't dream for the night but I did sleep very tight! =.=*

She came out with this decision, not to say confirm, just that it letting both of them down. I'm ok with it, can take it, honestly. Although I might sounded sad but I think is good to try out something new. As for YC, I hope you can still stay with us, don't quit, remember the promise between 3 of us?? WE SHALL STICK AND WORK TOGETHER!! BRING UP THE SOCIETY!! I know no point staying when people's attitude like that, but make it cause of the sake of society, stay with us...!

I REALLY DISLIKE THE FEELING WHEN PEOPLE TRYING TO DOUBT ME !!!!!!

happy with fx

Well, it is not for me to judge who you are. I find it is better for me to keep quiet. I know everything, what exactly happening but pretended don't know anything for the sake for myself. I'll not let others to sabotage my peace of mind, won't let troubles get in my way. In "THIS" case, there's 2 types of person. 1 is will go for it no matter how and the other 1 is don't care and go lackadaisical. For the first type, they will not give up and go all the way and couldn't put a stop for it. Do what also go go go. I'm not saying it's bad or what, is good to be semangat, but over semangat isn't a good thing. As far as I concern, it will makes people around you feel annoyed. The second type will gives a irresponsible feeling to others.

Whatever we do, we have to be MODERATE! Don't always think no one cares for you, no one knows you, no one appreciates you, bla bla bla. You have to open up your heart, bend a little and accept everyone, everything. Believe and trust people around you, of course there's still always a room of tact no matter how close a relationship is.

The RED LIGHT lights up, exploding the subdued silence of my heart.

I cracked my head thinking what shall I bring for NS cause it's just around the corner, asked some for my friends who went for it and finally came out with this TO BRING LIST (;

• girl stuff (lol, don't ask what larh)
• plastic bags
• slippers, sport shoes
• umbrella, alarm clock
• blanket, pillow, pillow case
• track bottom, pyjamas, jacket
• collar shirts, shorts, towel, socks
• torch light, stationery, market pen (700)
• toiletries, pail, washing powder
• pad lock with keys
• hanger, clips
• bottle, mass can, tubberware
• own medicine, counter pain, insect repellent, mosquito repellent
• charger, sim card, phone
• cash, coins
• Photostatted ic, original ic, forms
• BOOKS to STUDY !!!

I did duty for both my weekends, and yea, there goes my weekends. hiahz, what to do. But I had fun, learnt something new. It was a karate competition- malaysia open for all primary and secondary schools in "malaysia", but don't know why we had some players from Indonesia, Jakata and Singapore and the banner written there was malaysia terbuka antara sekolah or maybe they were from international school, don't know. Main sponsor was Milo. The first day 4 of us (me, yc, edwin and osla) took LRT and met abang Shah at Majlis.J station, from there we walked to star station, took star to the station named Maluri, from there again walked roughly 1.2km then only reached Stadium Badminton Kuala Lumpur. We walked along the busy road, passed by shop lots eg, toto4D, DAP office, shell petrol station....... so dusty!! Yer~~ We used up RM 9.40 just for the transport, meaning to say one trip costs RM4.70. Supposed we reach there at 9am cause the competition starts at 9 but we only get to reached there at 9.40am, so ya. Rosli had already arrived by that time. 6 of us dutied for the first day. First day NOT much cases, all small little ones, fingers bleeding...... well, cause basically I'm the only girl medic and obviously I have to handle if there's any girl victims. And so, I got a case where a 10 years old girl got her head knocked on the ground, lower left head and her left cheek got punched and she cried T_T I put ice and that's it! We ended our duties at 3.30pm.

I rushed to church in the Sunday morning, then stepped on a BEE and got a stung on my right toe. DAMN!!! It was SOOOO painful that no tears coming out from me. LOL :-X According to my first aid knowledge =) I should had washed with soap for at least 5-10 minutes but because I'm so rush that I only get to washed for less than 2minutes. Lucky it didn't swell up, thanks god. For the second day, same way of going to stadium but this time was only me, nick and osla. Met abang shah and rosli there and we started our duties. Watching kids fighting with each other made us laughed like hell, so cute just...... seriously! x] There was a category for kids within the age 3-4. Abang shah said, nanti mereka mesti nangis, kalah nangis, sakit nangis..... And ya, he's right, the way they cry also very cute. LoL. Made me feel like want to cubit them. Ishh! ;P Before noon nothing happen but don't why in the afternoon damn lot cases happened.

I was so tired but still went for movie at night at 1U after having sushi for dinner =D wahaha!

We did gotong-royong on Monday after assembly in school. Swept and washed and cleaned the whole class. DUST FREE! hehe x) There's only 13 of us in class and 5 of us will be changing stream so left 8 after all. Small class, isn't it? yea, better still.
Today they did campaign for election of Form6 council, whoever wants to take up post have to go for campaign and interview...... so left 3 of us in class... KesiaN !!! =(

Currently I've made 3 very important and big decisions and I don't know whether right or wrong. I know I already considered more for that, but all these questions still keep turning and burning inside me. What is right and what is wrong or should I be doing that instead of this?? I know I can't be selfish but I just don't know how not to. Let go everything, don't care what's going on, don't go for it, sit there and do nothing??......... The matter will still be there! I need to know these answers, I need to find my ways, can't tell what's waiting, still I need to go..... Anyways, thank you for supporting and thanks for your advice although we aren't that close before that =)) both of you larh. (I'm sure you know who you are xP) Friendship that can only last long as you said. Nicely said!

Played captain and dodge ball for two days, yesterday and today. I group gain the trophy and I gain muscle pull. Can't walk fast now........ ishh =X

get people to understand is damn hard but get people to misunderstand is just so damn bloody easy. Need to brush up my communication skill =.=

NS

Yea, made up my mind decided to go for NS. Already sent out letters and ya...... won't be here for around 1month plus instead of 3months, cause as long you fulfilled 45 days inside there, you can actually leave the camp but of course need letters and stuff. Leaving on the 17th of June.....

BRING IT ON ! NATIONAL SERVICE !

It had been long ever since i posted my last post, more than a week. LoL Okay, let's starts off with Monday. Hmm, recall back..... yea, i sited for my driving test early in the morning and late for school. Well, basically first day of school nothing much, just orientation and PMD (program maju diri), registered of course and listened to all speeches given by penyelaras of form6, pengetua, penolong HEM, rules and regulations as usual. And school counsellors gave us a talk on mind setting, meaning to say are you sure of doing form6 and stuff... The best part was we were given some tests as in personalities test (160 questions) and your style of loving (40 questions). As for me, the results were so damn accurate 99.9% and it's cool to know yourself better ;P We did public speaking. LoL ...... debated, form6 or college? Hmm..... Love it!! ;D

What really makes me headache was the changing of streams. I'm changing stream form science to arts and a lot of procedures have to followed. Firstly - tans of letters, next meeting penyelaras and counsellors, have to complete a personality test which consists of 200 questions, the counsellor will then analyse whether or not I'm suitable in doing arts stream by using that result. And finally meeting with pengetua and she will send the letters to Kementerian Pelajaran Tinggi and have to wait for at least 2weeks to get confirmed. x[

Choosing of package (subjects) were on the third and forth day. Besides, there's also a lot of talks going on...... talk talk and talk, play play and play - games organized by upper sixes

I know is just too early for me to say how good form6 is, form6 is the best choice to choose after SPM and stuff but it's really making you to be an adult, think maturely and get yourself involve in all sorts of activities. It's FUN and COOL!!!

I CAN DRIVE !!!

Received the NS letter on saturday. I'm having conflict within myself. I don't know I can cope up with my studies or not after going NS. And if i go, I'll miss sports day, saringan, inter school, inter house, gerko marks.......etc etc etc....... But i really really feel like going. This time my dad called me not to since there's so many sickness going around.... Is a tough decision to make though.....

I wonder and I wonder and I DON'T KNOW

happy mother's day

BLESSED MOTHER'S DAY !

celebrate mother's day in tears of sadness.. x[ ahiz

having driving test TOMORROW!

so...... GOOD LUCK STEPHANIE !!

after test have to go school for registration (Form6)

I'M HAPPY BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY !!! =D

school reopen

It's been a long time ever since I left school. 5 months considered long for me, yea. And I'm going back school next monday to do my Form6!!! very excited, miss teachers, friends, desks and chairs, field, hall, PBSM room of cause and also toilet as well x] hmm, the school still stays the same but the characters inside are all different. Looking forward into it....... ;D

I didn't get to buy my uniform. ishh.... Been searching around but only professor has it, I'm not a fan of professor... so too bad larh. I have to get my uniform before saturday........! Went to giant, tesco, bintang, jusco...... left only pakson and hopefully they have it. LoL

FORM 6, Here I Come! ;P

last driving lesson

My last driving lesson. Everything was fine until I met this white colour BMW exist in the middle of nowhere. Can't remember the number plat. Did an emergency brake and luckily car behind get to braked in time also, if not..... accident might happened. Gosh!!! It was scary cause I almost bang her, ya is her, is a female driver. But if i really bang her, not my fault also cause she cut in my lane just like that when doing turning. And my instructor, guess what's his reaction? He said to me, "HON HER! HON HER! Luckily also you get to brake in time so do the car behind." Pfffff.... relief really.... I did hon her after that. wahaha! ;P But it's also a nightmare for me

Hmm...... virus =]

to jas

Let's prove it by TIME !!

i really dun want to make things any harder, but why??? how you want me to explain only can gain back your trust? what you want me to do? how to change? I can't do anything because that's the truth. ok, u want me to say,

yes, i join because of XX

yes, i didn't go for meeting because of XX

yes, i go for duty is because of XX

for what i can tell you,

none of it is true

no matter what i say, what i do, you will still think of me in this way, still will stick to your perception, right?

well, if that's the truth for you, I respect that. I don't happen to agree, but I respect your right to your opinion

since you said that, I want to clarify. I don't know he's coming for meeting, if really because of him, I shouldn't have turned up for meeting. for that, you can ask him. I can still help up even though my name is not in. yes! i get you, not going for camp but still must in the committee. I said I will help, means I'm already part of committee, so is nothing to do whether my name is in the list or not. I DIDN'T get angry for any meetings' agenda and I know I don't even have the right to do so, even SL's don't even know as you said, so what me? what talk? I will still definitely help you with or without him telling. why u want to doubt that? no doubt for that in fact!

no matter what, i will still respect YOU, still support YOU

if and only god will help me clarify, i don't want things ended up like that

Love leads to life

Love Leads to Life

Christian faith is not the immortality of the soul or a general belief in an afterlife. In seeing the death of Jesus as the giving of his life for others. Christian faith is not the belief that after death comes life or that death leads to life. It is the belief that LOVE is life and leads to life.

It was not physical death of Jesus, but his death as the expression of his free and loving self-giving that constitutes its religious and theological significance in the New Testament. To die for others is not just to die, but is the most free personal act of life and of the affirmation of life in loving faith and hope and the Christian believe that this life, the life of Jesus of Nazareth, constitutes true life, a life that is stronger than death and survives death. The Christian believes that the life and death of the risen Christ reveals and communicates the invincible and eternal life and love of the Triune God.

In John's theological reflection (1 Jn 4: 7-9) we are told that love leads to life because such a life is sharing in the life of God who is Love itself and to share his life is to have been touched by the Eternal in time. "This is the Eternal Life," says the Gospel of John, "to know you, the one true God and Jesus Christ whom you have sent" (17:3) To know Jesus of Nazareth in the Paschal mystery, in his dying as a loving self-giving in faith and hope, is to know something of God's life, eternal life. To share in such a life is to share in a life that is eternal, an eternity known in loving faith and hope. In the farewell discourse in John, Jesus could say: "I am the way and the truth and the life" (14:6) That is, the life the lives and offers to others is the true way that is life and leads to life. He could also say to Martha, who knew that her brother would rise on the last day, that he was the resurrection and the life (11:25), that his life and death revealed the meaning of life and resurrection.

Christian faith....

is the belief that Love is life and leads to Life

BUL 18/09

01/05

01/05

When for satu suara duty at Dataran PJ, opposite Amcorp Mall that open field. All of us thought it's gonna be something like carnival, lots of people coming, plenty of agencies, NGO's, mana tau only rela, police and us (medic) and they're having paintball competition. This event was actually organized by government- sport and youth ministry. Great, duty until 6pm form 8am. Before duty, me, yc, fx and daniel (serdang commandant) went all the way to IPK (Ibu Pejabat Kebangsaan Bulan Sabit Merah Malaysia) to get ambulance. Daniel drove us there. WBQ 5990, that's the number plat for our ambulance. Don't judge the book by it's cover. This ambulance may looked very very old, but the engine was way super duper powerful ! can reach up to 120km/h with gear4. Wasn't that much serious cases, all normal case, the most serious one was a ref suffered from heat stroke. After duty, fx fetches all of us back.

MEMORABLE 01/05